Friday, August 5, 2011

Looking Up

If you've been reading anything I've written lately (I know, I haven't written much - sorry!), you know that I've been having an especially hard time the past few months.  The whole reason I started this blog in the first place was to help get through the rough times, and come out stronger at the end.  I thought that if I could focus on the positive even in the darkest days, surely I would bring more light into my life, and things would get easier. By extension, I hoped I could help spread the positive energy to you, too.

Go ahead, say it: awwww!
Unfortunately, it's not always that easy.  Though I don't really have any secrets, there are some things that are just too personal to share in a public forum like this.  Sometimes the things that weigh me down are not only my issues, and I respect the people in my life too much to air their feelings or issues (even if they're mine, too).  Sometimes the clouds are hanging so low that even though I know there must be a silver lining, I have a really hard time finding it.  And you don't need to read about me just being gloomy ... and I don't want to write about just being gloomy.  

More accurately, I don't want to just be gloomy.  As dorky as it may sound, I actually like being full of sunshine and rainbows.  I am by nature a perky, bubbly, cheerleader-type (even if the blonde comes from my stylist), so while my recent depression has been completely understandable given all that I've been dealing with, it just doesn't feel like me.  Now here's the kicker: it has taken many years of overcoming obstacles, learning from mistakes, and of course undergoing a complete metamorphosis, but the thing is, I actually like me.  So that's who I want to be, and that's how I want to feel.  

So here's the deal: I've still got a lot of stuff going on.  Some of it, I'll be able to write about eventually; some, I won't.  Things may get worse before they get better (though I certainly hope not!), and there will surely be many more struggles even as things progress.  But I honestly believe that I've made it through the worst ... which means that things are getting better.

Over 70 years ago, Lou Gehrig considered himself the luckiest man on the face of the earth.  Despite a fatal degenerative disease, he was grateful for the people who surrounded him, loved him, and supported him throughout his life.  By that standard, I must say that despite any physical, mental or emotional challenges I face, I am an incredibly lucky woman.  And I thank you for that.

I like the view from here!
There is one invaluable thing that comes from hitting rock-bottom: perspective.  When we are at our worst, we see not only how things used to be, but how they could be.  We discover what is truly most important to us, and may even be surprised by what we find.  We learn what is worth fighting for, and what is best to let go.  We find that we are stronger and wiser than we ever gave ourselves credit for.  We get creative, and work out new solutions to old problems.  And that's when things really start looking up.

** If you like what you read, tell a friend!  Actually, tell me too - post a comment below!!  If you don't ... well ... I'm all for honesty, but please be gentle!