Still Smiling

As soon as I posted my list of things that made me smile, I thought of something else ... and smiled again.  The next morning, something silly happened, and I thought "now that's something that could go on my list" ... and then something else made me smile yet again.  And again.  So without really trying, I just kept finding things to smile (or laugh) about.  So of course, that means I want to share with you.

Here's some of what made me smile since I wrote that list:

Peace, Love, and ... hard cider

1. I caught hubby dancing in the mirror while he was getting dressed.  Sooo cute!
2. My "costume" for the 70s party I went to (mostly what I already own, with a few extra accessories) ... OMG, I cannot tell you how much I love the full-on hippie look ... it just seems to fit me so well!  I seriously wish I could do that every day.
3. The most ridiculous lyrics I've ever heard (they're a bit vulgur, I apologize):
   "Sex with a mummy - put that p---y in a sarcophagus/Now she complains that I hurt her esophagus"
   I believe my exact reaction was "wait ... WHAT? Did he just say ... REALLY?  Wow ... really, just ... WOW."  I was speechless for a moment, but couldn't stop laughing for at least 10 minutes.
4. Patron XO Cafe.  It's coffee.  It's tequila.  Need I say more?
5. At the party - so many silly moments with some really fun new people ... and some awesome old ones (that's old as opposed to new, not as opposed to young LOL). 

A List of Smiles

It has been one helluva week.  So many things have happened - both to me and to people I care about - that made me revisit the piece I wrote about karma earlier this year.  A friend saw the re-post, and asked what was going on.  At first, all I could say was oy vey.  Then I told her about the deaths and grave illnesses I learned about, the difficult decisions and even more difficult discussions, and progress reports on a few ongoing issues (and newly developing ones).  So much suffering in so many directions ... surely, things have to balance out somehow.

My awesome friend offered her sympathy and positive energy, as she always does (just one of the many reasons I love her so much).  She reminded me to focus on the good things in life, even using some of my own ideas against me: "generating good and happy feelings will do just that ... generate more good and happy feelings: that's some form of karma i think." She suggested that I make a list of the good things in my life ("even the silly things like 'i love my keurig,'") as a way of getting this happiness ball rolling.  I absolutely loved the idea, and promised her I would do just that.  So I started thinking back over the past week or two, looking at the world through my peace, love & happiness filter ... and here's what I came up with:

Looking Up

If you've been reading anything I've written lately (I know, I haven't written much - sorry!), you know that I've been having an especially hard time the past few months.  The whole reason I started this blog in the first place was to help get through the rough times, and come out stronger at the end.  I thought that if I could focus on the positive even in the darkest days, surely I would bring more light into my life, and things would get easier. By extension, I hoped I could help spread the positive energy to you, too.

Go ahead, say it: awwww!

Unfortunately, it's not always that easy.  Though I don't really have any secrets, there are some things that are just too personal to share in a public forum like this.  Sometimes the things that weigh me down are not only my issues, and I respect the people in my life too much to air their feelings or issues (even if they're mine, too).  Sometimes the clouds are hanging so low that even though I know there must be a silver lining, I have a really hard time finding it.  And you don't need to read about me just being gloomy ... and I don't want to write about just being gloomy.  

More accurately, I don't want to just be gloomy.  As dorky as it may sound, I actually like being full of sunshine and rainbows.  I am by nature a perky, bubbly, cheerleader-type (even if the blonde comes from my stylist), so while my recent depression has been completely understandable given all that I've been dealing with, it just doesn't feel like me.  Now here's the kicker: it has taken many years of overcoming obstacles, learning from mistakes, and of course undergoing a complete metamorphosis, but the thing is, I actually like me.  So that's who I want to be, and that's how I want to feel.