Saturday, February 5, 2011

Done!

Note: Sorry I took an extra day to get to this ... I started to write it yesterday, but the day got really crazy, and I just ran out of time... but without further delay, here we go!

Ok, folks ... I have officially completed my 10-day detoxification program, and here's where I'm at now:

Physically: Contrary to what I worried about, I'm actually feeling really good!  I definitely still have some pains (I think maybe I always will), but at least now it seems to be specific localized pain in a couple of spots, rather than generalized aching throughout my entire body.  My headaches have decreased dramatically, both in frequency and intensity.  I have more energy the past few days than I've had in weeks (maybe months), and people seem to be noticing a difference in my appearance, too.

Mentally: I can honestly say I seem to be handling stressful situations better the past few days.  I am not internalizing (which I know leads to so much more of the physical problems), and I'm not even really worrying.  There is still a lot going on, but I am thinking so much more clearly about where I am and what I've got to do to get to where I want to be.  I am focused on the positive potential and solutions, rather than the current chaos and problems.

Emotionally: I am feeling so many things right now: 

Refreshed
Liberated 
Accomplished 
Peaceful 
Light 
Happy 
Strong 
Energized 
Rejuvenated 
Invigorated 
Hopeful.

Back in college, someone once said that I was "the embodiment of sunshine and happiness."  That is what I feel like right now.  

Ironically, when I took the objective test that's supposed to measure the results, all my numbers were worse after the detox than they were before.  Two weeks ago, this would have gotten me really upset.  I would have felt like I had just wasted 10 days, and deprived myself of cheese and coffee for nothing.  All of the physical improvements that I described above would have vanished, because I would have been so focused on what went wrong.  I would have found a way to blame myself, and would have beaten myself up for failing at yet another thing in life.  Today, though, I say something that you would never think you'd hear a nerd say (though I guess it's okay for a bimbo/nerd to say it): Screw the numbers!

It's really amazing the difference that just a few days can make.  I have never felt so calm while having so many major components in my life still up in the air.  I have never been so at peace with not knowing how things are going to turn out, and where I will be a month from now.  I may not know the details yet, but those are just the numbers.  What I do know - in my gut, even if not on paper - is that I am doing better in every way, and that things are going to work out.

** If you like what you read, tell a friend!  Actually, tell me too - post a comment below!!  If you don't ... well ... I'm all for honesty, but please be gentle!