Monday, November 15, 2010

Better than Beautiful

Ok, I admit it ... I can be shallow at times (can't we all?).  Not really shallow, and not in a way that judges others, but in the way that you know others are judging you.  Even if they don't mean anything bad by it, I guess it's just human nature.  I knew it was coming, so I wanted to be prepared.

I went to a wedding over the weekend, and was really looking forward to it.  I absolutely adore the couple, and wanted to be there for their most special moment.  Both were from my previous job, and so were many of the other guests.  Of course I was looking forward to seeing good friends, but the shallowness hit me.  I believe my exact words were, "I haven't seen these people in 6 months ... I want to look hot!"  I wanted them to see how much better I've been doing since I left that job, and I wanted them to go back and tell everyone else.  It wasn't to show off against them (I knew they'd be happy for me), but to show off how different I was from the last time they saw me (see more about how I was doing back then).

Since then, my health has improved (I feel better than I have in years), and my weight has followed suit (I've lost about 25lbs, and still going).  I went shopping in my closet for a dress that hasn't fit me in years, and even wore makeup!  Even I have to admit I looked pretty darn good (and I'm always my own worst critic).

Naturally, they noticed the difference, and I got many compliments.  They asked what I'd been doing, and I said "this is what happens when you leave [that job]".  They all laughed and agreed that it was a great move for me.  We talked about the old job, the new job, and the lifestyle changes I'd made.  We reminisced about the good old days, and made plans for even better new days.

The next day, as we all exchanged photos & comments on facebook, we all said how great it was to see each other.  Others (who weren't at the wedding) saw the pics, and commented on how great I looked.  But one friend said something that meant much more.

G's comment: "You can definitely see the positivity in your aura!"

As I read that, it meant more than 100 people telling me I looked beautiful.  This was more than a "look" ... it was an aura, an energy ... a being.  With all the changes I've made over the past 6 months, I now have a feeling of inner peace.  I believe it is that calm, that healthy glow, that positivity that people interpret as beauty.  But this is waaaaay better.

If you like what you read, tell a friend!  Actually, tell me too - post a comment below!!  If not, well ... I'm all for honesty, but please be gentle!

3 comments:

  1. Kerry,

    I don't think you're shallow at all. I think of it as pride in how well you've done with your new lifestyle changes and hell, girl, YOU ARE HOT! LOL! I said to a fellow kickboxer today, "I want to look hot by the time I turn 40 next year!" And she said, "Yes and be healthy and lifestyle changes...blah, blah blah...". "NO...I just really want to be smokin' hot" I thought to myself. LOL!

    The health and the lifestyle changes will be a byproduct of my wanting to be a hottie again and believe me I'll take that in a heartbeat. But, I'm not kidding myself this time around. I'm doing it to look hot. And if in that process I'm a better mother, wife or in the best physical health of my life...all the better. But my true motivation is the hotness! LOL! I've never said that or admitted it to myself or anyone else and I think that is partly to blame for my past failures at losing weight and getting healthy. I just needed to get real with myself. If that makes me shallow...so be it, as long as I am HOT in the process. LOL!!! :D

    I think you're right about G's comment...it went so much deeper than the looks. G saw past the looks and right into your soul/inner being and saw something that surpasses fleeting outward beauty. G saw pure joy eminating from inside you and that my friend is true beauty. I hope to have some of that too...along with the hotness. ;)

    Love you!

    Julie :)

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  2. Funny, Julie ... it's all about being real - whatever your reason for doing it, the important thing is that you ARE. You're already gorgeous, and have that glow of happiness knowing you've got a good life & a great family; you deserve to have the body you want, and I know you'll get there!

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  3. Thank you, Kerry! We'll be hotties together! :D

    Julie :)

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