Friday, January 7, 2011

Not Funny

Ok, so here's another post that's just going to make you laugh ... but hopefully you'll be laughing with me, not at me ... and maybe you'll even sympathize!  

I just saw this awful commercial for the USPS, and had to share... Ok, I guess in a way it's an awesome commercial, 'cause it's something I could relate to SO much (and many of you probably can, too) ... but it's just so wrong!

Plain and simple, clowns are evil.  They are absolutely creepy, twisted, and disturbing, and I don't know who ever thought they could be appropriate for children.  Personally, I was scarred for life nearly 30 years ago, and a commercial like this just shows that I'm not alone.  Since I don't have the energy to write a really meaningful post today, I'll just tell you about my traumatization.  May as well embrace it, right?

Heather O'Rourke, who played
Carole Ann Freeling
When I was around 6 years old, my mom took us to see the movie Poltergeist.  I didn't know what the word meant at the time, so I had no idea what I was getting into.  The main character was a little girl about my age (who many even said looked like me), so surely it would be something cute and fun, right?


For anyone who doesn't know, the basic plot is that this girl's family moves into a home that's haunted, and she and her brother are targeted by the angry spirits.  Carole Ann is sucked in through the television, and her brother Robbie is attacked by his doll clown.  I sat through the entire movie crying to go home, so of course my older sister (who lived to torment me) loved it.

When we got home that night and I tried to go to bed, my sister decided to recreate a particularly horrifying scene from the movie.  She sat my doll clown on her rocking chair facing my bed, just like in the movie.  She then tied a string to the chair, and left the room with the other end.  As I lay in bed, terrified, trying to go to sleep, I couldn't take my eyes off the clown ... sitting there ... staring at me ... smiling ... and then ... rocking back and forth!

In retrospect, maybe it was really my sister who was evil, and not the doll clown.  Maybe it was both.   

When I was a teenager, my stepmother heard the story, and thought it would be fun to experience it for herself.  So while I lay sleeping (already creeped out by the rocking chair in the room), I was woken up by my stepbrother's doll clown jumping in my face.  Evil Clown or Wicked Stepmother?

In my twenties, I made the mistake of going to a haunted house with my husband (boyfriend at the time) and a few friends.  As we waited on line, though, a thought occurred to me: what if there are clowns in there?  Everyone reassured me that it would be ok: we anticipated mad scientists, axe murderers and monsters, but they said there probably wouldn't be clowns.  They were wrong: of course there were clowns, and when they sensed my fear, they chased me around!  I think my husband still has scars on his arm from where I dug my nails in that night.

I don't know what it is that makes clowns so scary.  Though I can laugh about it now, I still can't ever watch a movie like Saw or read a book like It.  I would never even go to the circus (hey, you just don't know)!  Watching this commercial really does give me the creeps ... but at least I know I'm not alone!

** If you like what you read, tell a friend!  Actually, tell me too - post a comment below!!  If you don't ... well ... I'm all for honesty, but please be gentle!